HURRICANE SANDY

I have always said that things happen for a reason.  I’m almost never sure why they do when it happens, but slowly but surely the true meaning comes to light and I am once again reminded that life can take you on many twists and turns, sometimes scary ones, but eventually, you will find your true path. 

The same can be said about Hurricane Sandy and the week that preceded it.

It was a hectic week which included the good the bad and the ugly.  Matt and I are at a point in our lives where things just might be turning around for us; some of our family is hurting and others are dealing with health issues. 

It was one of those weeks where you didn’t know whether to laugh or cry; run and hide or jump for joy.  All these feelings and emotions swirled inside me like the impending storm that was just on our unforeseen horizon. 

Tropical storm 18; what tropical storm?  I was amazed to hear that there was a slight chance that we might get some sort of repercussions from this storm a week later.  That’s the first I heard of it; about seven days before it hit. 

It seemed that Tropical Storm 18 had the potential to turn into a strong hurricane and head up the east coast.  My first thought, like many others, was that it wouldn’t happen.  New Jersey hadn’t had a hit in years.  Irene, when she hit last year, as bad as she was only hit us as a tropical storm and our area wasn’t hit hard at all, thank God.

No way would this phantom Tropical Storm 18 hit us, let alone nearly head on.

Oh how wrong I was.  The events in my life leading up to this weekend should have forewarned me; but like so many other times, it did not.

As the week went on and 18 turned into Hurricane Sandy, with a storm to our west and an arctic blast to our north, it appeared we just might be in for what the experts had dubbed, Frankinstorm.

With Matt working so many hours, Shayne, my oldest, came over to help us batten down the hatches. 

So, with Shayne and Anthony on the job, I knew if something needed to be done, it would.

Both being Marines you would think that they would have spent a lifetime growing and bonding up until that point.  Not so.  With ten years between them, as much as they loved each other, there was more tension and resentment than anything else. 

The Corp. helped to bring them closer, but still, the divide was great.  I could only hope that in time, that great crevasse would close and they would find in each other what I always knew was there; a strong love and respect for each other that had been buried for too long

The relationship between my husband and Anthony was almost none existent as well before Anthony joined the Corp; through no fault of his own.  My husband lived in a sad and lonely world for a long long time.

Matt found his way when Anthony was half way around the world, fighting for our freedom in Afghanistan.  

As it would turn our, my little Marine would come home with severe PTSD.

When Sandy hit, one of my first thoughts were of my Priorities. Oh how they change. Does my hair and makeup look ok, does this outfit make me look fat, to how will my husband sleep again tonight without his sleep apnea machine; how can we help our youngest son deal with his anxieties, make it through another day without power and relieve his stress a bit.  What can we do for our neighbor or family member who lost part or everything? 

How petty and complaisant we become in our everyday lives that we forget what is truly important.  Believe me, I have my moments.  I realize that I am one of the lucky ones.  I have my roof, possessions, and my family with me. 

So many don’t have that.

So, with the storm over and still no power and the roads un-drivable due to downed wires and trees, we did what we needed to do.

With no tv, phones, computers or video games, we actually conversed with each other.  We played board games, spoke of our dreams for the future and on occasion, of our fears from the past.  In the evenings when the temperature would go down, my boys gathered up all the branches and limbs that we lost during the storm and we had bonfires in the base of our charcoal grill.

We laughed, cried and just enjoyed each other like we have not done in a long time.  At that moment we knew what we had in each other and we cherished it. 

Our daughter and her family are on the other side of town.  They fared well and like us, enjoyed each other’s company without the interference of modern technology.

Along with the aftermath of the storm, my dad collapsed in his home, was taken to hospital and admitted.   The stress of the storm and his aging body gave out for a brief moment it seems.  Rehab after the hospital and then back home. 

Age is not a good friend to my dad and time will tell what my sisters and I can do, and worse yet, what we might have to do to maintain dad’s health and quality of life. 

All these things swirled around before, during and after the storm with so much destruction still left. 

My one sister’s home flooded, with the water on her street thigh high.  Lots of people had the same thing happen I realize that; my sister has been in that home for 30 years.  Never has she seen water anywhere near her home. 

While my one sister was dealing with a flooded home, the flooded home of her daughter and her neighbors business under 10 feet of water, our other sister was thousands of miles away, worried and unable to get in touch with us, but sporadically. 

Now, like countless others her home is torn up, possessions out for the garbage and nothing to do but wait for the next insurance adjuster to come and let her know what she can and can’t do and what is covered and what isn’t.

But through all this, we have our families, our friends and our lives. 

How many people lost everything they had, or worse yet, their lives? 

We were lucky.  We came out unscathed and closer to one and other than we have ever been.  My sons admire, respect and cherish each other, as they do their sister.  This will never change regardless of where they live or how far apart they are from each other.

Whatever happens in my life with Matt; whether or not things change and happen the way we hope or go in the other direction, we have each other and more than ever, appreciate each other.

All those petty differences and bullshit that we see as life changing and all so important are nothing more than distractions from our life.

I can only hope I can hold on to my priorities for a time; and not need another storm to pull me back and make me see what is really important in my life.