Yes, I know, the alternative is to wake up dead. I don't want that, trust me. But 60....... My mom was 60 once. I also know it's just a number. But it's my number; well almost. Tomorrow I turn the big 60. I have informed my family I don't want a party. If I could sleep all day I would. Bury my head under the covers and maybe it would go away.
Matt and I will go to dinner and I'll ask him to avoid the topic, then I'll talk about it the entire meal. I know I'm being silly, immature really; and I know I'll be fine the day after. It's just.........
SIXTY.... For fucks sake, that's a large number.
I was very excited about 50. That's when I thought I would wake up thin, blonde and tan; oh and have sex all the time because when you are 50, you can't get pregnant, your kids are grown and gone and, well, that's what women do whey they turn 50. They romp. It was all a lie, I didn't romp. My mind does wander and fantasize just a bit. But, nonetheless, I was very excited about 50.
But once again I say, 60!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't feel 60, not sure if I look it or not. Staying chubby has lessened my wrinkles for sure so that helps.. Hopefully I have inherited longevity genes from my parents. Bacon helps also, so does red wine, and butter, in my mind anyway. But I digress.
In my youth I had envisioned my 60's very differently than they are now. The fantasy: Long silver hair flowing in the ocean breeze, walking on an island beach in my bathing suit, subtle cover up on; hand in hand with my husband. The facts: Thighs rubbing together, hair frizzing and our fingers too swollen from the Caribbean sun to hold hands comfortably.... But again, I digress, yet again.
I am determined to charge ahead, full speed to accomplish the things that I lay awake and fantasize about. Take the weight off that I put forever ago and that I HATE, finish my second book and actually find an agent to take me on as a client. I'm determined to love what I see looking back at me in the mirror. Not just my insides, but also the outside. And cook a goddamn piece of fish correctly.
The list goes on and on.
That's it. My age related mini pity party is now over.
I will wake up tomorrow, happy to be alive and grateful for all I have in my life. My family, my friends, my puppies and my health.
Happy birthday fellow Taurians. Life is good...
