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I WILL BE BLOGGING AGAIN SOON.


Tatas and Mr. Happy

So for any of you who have been living under a rock or who haven't read my blog in a while, our family is preparing for a wedding.

Our oldest son is taking the plunge in April.

This can mean only one thing. My descent into the world of glamor, fashion and breasts. Yes, I said breasts. A woman can't possibly be sexy without her breasts showing in some way, shape or form. Can she?

Odd choice of word; shape. Mine have taken on a shape all their own. No firm, round melons for me; no sir. Mine are more of the free-form type. Oh, I'm not saying that older, more mature breasts can't be attractive; I'm just saying it makes it harder to keep them where they belong.

We lay on our backs and they go to the side making even the most full-breasted woman appear flat. Lean over our man and they could cause serious harm if set into motion. Standing with our back erect and in a bra is the best way to go. Fake perky.

Now, the dress that I purchased for the wedding shows some cleavage. I simply could not get a dress that didn't. I mean really, the mother of the bride is a gorgeous and sexy woman, who will be in a sleeveless dress with peep toes shoes. I can't wear sleeveless as my arms look like hams and my feet look like hooves. There you have it.

Back to the dress, the trick there is getting a bra that is low enough so as not to show, yet strong enough to keep these girls up where they belong and not jiggling around like a cup of jello.

It's a must that a trip to the bra and girdle factory is in my future. I go straight to the industrial sized section. No cute little bras for me. Large, mega clasps and heavy; with steel reinforcements, of course.

Feel the seduction...................

Why my preoccupation with breasts? Isn't it our breasts that define us as women? Don't all women love that men love our tatas. Oh, legs and butts get their share of attention.... but tits.....that's where it's at.

Since my high school days that's how it has been for me. Picture this, seventh grade and a group of my male classmates are standing on the other side of the room. I hear my name, glance over to see all these boys staring at me. I was in heaven... they wanted me I was sure of it. As I walked over wondering which one of these 13-year old wants to ask me out my heart was pounding. I was very shy but ready to take one of them on. I didn't care which one it was, I wanted a boy friend.

What came out of the ring-leaders mouth will stick with me forever. "Hey Nancy, we just wanted to see you bounce."

If there had been a hole I would have crawled into it. I mean really. Aghhhhhhhh

The ladies that I work with were discussing the finer points of our mammary glands and, of course, my dress, when I asked the one guy in the kitchen his opinion on the subject. Did it matter to him if the breasts in question were fake or real, and did he know if fake ones felt the same.

I was convinced of his answer before he opened his mouth. There was no doubt in my mind of what his thoughts were. I know these things..Of course men wanted the real thing. That was a no brainer. Sagging, maybe not; but real none the less.

Men loved their women and wanted the real deal.

WRONG. His response was, "real or fake, we want them big and firm". Good God what had I been thinking? I wasn't, that's the problem. But it did give me cause to think.


If breasts were so important to men, what about the penis for women? I think it's safe to say that women like that particular part of a man's anatomy as much as men like our tunas.

Why can women prance around showing as much breast as possible and men can completely conceal their privates? That doesn't seem fair to me. Men can scope out the women's assets while the lady is left in the dark until they become intimate.

It's not like a woman can go grabbing at men's crotches to feel what he has. That would be going way to far even for me.

Go to any beach and you see little bodies in little bathing suits showing off all their goodies. Or, older women trying desperately to look younger and showing as much breast as they possibly can without hurting themselves.

Since speedo's aren't very popular these days, swim trunks have taken center stage. Granted, guys look cute in them, but you simply can't tell what's in there. There is no way to see what a man is packing in those shorts. Chests on the men, yes; but that's all we get to see. Bummer.

Why was their junk more important to conceal then our girls? It's because in this instance, men are smarter. Don't' reveal what I have until the woman is hooked on my charm and wit.

Then they drop the bomb, or their pants if you will. By that time it's too late. Small or large, erect or placid what can we do?

Can we really dump a guy that we already like because his privates aren't good enough? Where is the justice in that?

There isn't any, that's all I'm saying.

So, back to my dress. I am sure that I will look very pretty in my dress aging breasts and all. As a 54 year old woman who is finally realizing that she is aging and not a young girl any longer; I'm still goofy, naive and flaky, but my body has decided it's time to grow up.

I don't think I'm going to like this thing called....growing up and older.

NICOLE bold beautiful and bitchy

Well, Shayne's wedding is two months away and we are all getting very excited to say the least.

I have my dress, my shoes and my piece of mind.

I'm sorry to say, that wasn't always the case. as my heart was still with Shayne's ex-fiance.

Shayne was engaged when he went to Iraq in 2003 and was single a few months after he came home. I got very close to this young woman during their brief time together and my heart wasn't ready to let her go.

We had shared the fears of having a loved one at war. It was a very difficult time for me and having someone in the same position as me, someone who understood, was very comforting. As a result of this, we got very close.

I was sure that this is who Shayne should be with, and subconsciously I wouldn't let it go.

Truth be told, Nicole didn't have a chance when they first started dating and I didn't even know it; and it was all me.

Nicole came into our lives three years ago at a time when Shayne was just starting to turn his life around after a spiral of poor choices, friends with their own agendas and lack of confidence.

Beautiful and pleasant from the start, it was easy to like Nicole. Shayne certainly seemed happy. Isn't that what every mother wants for her child? I thought it was; I also thought that I was immune to being anything but fair.

Polar opposites from the start; Nicole is strong and secure, beautiful and assertive. Those are qualities that I never was..until recently. Assertive I mean. hahahaha

Nicole and I have always gotten along although I still had my relationship with Shayne's ex-fiance. I thought it was fine. Shayne and she remained friends for a time, and for someone as sensitive as I am, it never occur ed to me that it might upset or intimidate Nicole.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

It was after Shayne and Danielle had a falling out and stopped speaking to each other that I started to realize that there was an issue with my still being in contact with her.

For her part, Nicole handled it by keeping her fears and feelings to herself; never letting on that I was hurting her.

For me, I was concerned with the way I saw the relationship going; Shayne and Nicole bickered a lot, seemed to bite at each other all the time. They never seemed really happy. Never hugging or kissing; just snapping at each other.

It was always in my mind somewhat buried that they might break up and Danielle and Shayne would get back together.

I mean, I knew what was best for my ADULT CHILD. I liked Nicole, but...... I knew best.

Jesus Christ what was I thinking.

Suffice it to say, Shayne and Nicole broke up. They were both carrying too much baggage that they didn't have a chance, and with Nicole feeling like an outsider in our home; I don't' think she thought she had a choice. Until........

It took Nicole breaking up with Shayne for them to both, stop and think about what they had, how they treated each other and how they wanted their life to proceed.

Needless to say, Shayne was devastated with the breakup and Nicole was steadfast on staying apart. It had been just too much for her.

So after my initial relief that lasted a day, Shayne confronted me and asked me point blank if I had wanted all along for this relationship to end. Aghhhhhh it wasn't that I wanted it to end. It was so complicated and jesus christ it was none of my business; but I had made it my business.

How do you make amends for such selfish behavior? I don't know if you can.
I felt so bad......

I saw over the next few weeks the love that my son had for Nicole. It took him almost losing her for me to realize that I had been so out of line in my thoughts and hopes that I was at a loss as to what to do to help.

I know, stay out of it; which is what I did.

I am happy to say that Nicole had second thoughts, realized that she loved Shayne as much as he loved her and they were once again a couple. Only this time, they were more than a couple, they were great together. Sometimes it takes a loss to realize what you had.

That was the case for Shayne and Nicole. Thank God.

It would be a very awkward meeting for Nicole, Matt and I the first time we all got together after the breakup. We were all very nervous but confident that things could move forward.

Then, one early morning not long after they got back together, Nicole texted me and asked if we could talk, about.......Danielle and my relationship with her.

It was the best thing that she could have done. We spoke openly and honestly about how she felt about it all and how intimidated that relationship had made her feel. She felt like an intruder in our home. She was hurt and confused and rightfully so.

That was unacceptable.

I make it a point in my life to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome in my home and with our family. I had failed so miserably and didn't know how to make it right.

It was after that that our relationship was unhindered, close and where it belonged.

I would like to think that Nicole loves me as much as I love her. I couldn't be happier with how things turned out for all involved.

Their wedding is two months away and I am so happy, excited and confident that this is how it should be.

Shayne and Nicole are good for each other. They bring out the best in each other.

So, who is this young woman who is going to marry my son? She is a loyal, loving and caring young lady who says it like it is. She loves her family and her friends and excepts people to take responsibility for their actions.

She is softening in her approach to life, slightly; and is learning how to slow down and appreciate things and not stress quite so much.

This child gets upset when I do my son's laundry or make his lunch, but understands how I am with my family and she now excepts my quirks and idiosyncrasies. She loves me for me as I love her for her.

I look forward to my chats with her over a glass of wine, or two, how she confides in me about her feelings, fears and hopes; how she trust me. And how I trust her.


Nicole is my daughter and that is how it should be.

This woman is going to marry my son. I hold my children very close to my heart and I am confident that she will love and protect him as he will her. Mama's happy.


I have lived my life believing that things happen for a reason and I still believe that still today.

Nicole is where she belongs, with Shayne and with our family.