NICOLE bold beautiful and bitchy

Well, Shayne's wedding is two months away and we are all getting very excited to say the least.

I have my dress, my shoes and my piece of mind.

I'm sorry to say, that wasn't always the case. as my heart was still with Shayne's ex-fiance.

Shayne was engaged when he went to Iraq in 2003 and was single a few months after he came home. I got very close to this young woman during their brief time together and my heart wasn't ready to let her go.

We had shared the fears of having a loved one at war. It was a very difficult time for me and having someone in the same position as me, someone who understood, was very comforting. As a result of this, we got very close.

I was sure that this is who Shayne should be with, and subconsciously I wouldn't let it go.

Truth be told, Nicole didn't have a chance when they first started dating and I didn't even know it; and it was all me.

Nicole came into our lives three years ago at a time when Shayne was just starting to turn his life around after a spiral of poor choices, friends with their own agendas and lack of confidence.

Beautiful and pleasant from the start, it was easy to like Nicole. Shayne certainly seemed happy. Isn't that what every mother wants for her child? I thought it was; I also thought that I was immune to being anything but fair.

Polar opposites from the start; Nicole is strong and secure, beautiful and assertive. Those are qualities that I never was..until recently. Assertive I mean. hahahaha

Nicole and I have always gotten along although I still had my relationship with Shayne's ex-fiance. I thought it was fine. Shayne and she remained friends for a time, and for someone as sensitive as I am, it never occur ed to me that it might upset or intimidate Nicole.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

It was after Shayne and Danielle had a falling out and stopped speaking to each other that I started to realize that there was an issue with my still being in contact with her.

For her part, Nicole handled it by keeping her fears and feelings to herself; never letting on that I was hurting her.

For me, I was concerned with the way I saw the relationship going; Shayne and Nicole bickered a lot, seemed to bite at each other all the time. They never seemed really happy. Never hugging or kissing; just snapping at each other.

It was always in my mind somewhat buried that they might break up and Danielle and Shayne would get back together.

I mean, I knew what was best for my ADULT CHILD. I liked Nicole, but...... I knew best.

Jesus Christ what was I thinking.

Suffice it to say, Shayne and Nicole broke up. They were both carrying too much baggage that they didn't have a chance, and with Nicole feeling like an outsider in our home; I don't' think she thought she had a choice. Until........

It took Nicole breaking up with Shayne for them to both, stop and think about what they had, how they treated each other and how they wanted their life to proceed.

Needless to say, Shayne was devastated with the breakup and Nicole was steadfast on staying apart. It had been just too much for her.

So after my initial relief that lasted a day, Shayne confronted me and asked me point blank if I had wanted all along for this relationship to end. Aghhhhhh it wasn't that I wanted it to end. It was so complicated and jesus christ it was none of my business; but I had made it my business.

How do you make amends for such selfish behavior? I don't know if you can.
I felt so bad......

I saw over the next few weeks the love that my son had for Nicole. It took him almost losing her for me to realize that I had been so out of line in my thoughts and hopes that I was at a loss as to what to do to help.

I know, stay out of it; which is what I did.

I am happy to say that Nicole had second thoughts, realized that she loved Shayne as much as he loved her and they were once again a couple. Only this time, they were more than a couple, they were great together. Sometimes it takes a loss to realize what you had.

That was the case for Shayne and Nicole. Thank God.

It would be a very awkward meeting for Nicole, Matt and I the first time we all got together after the breakup. We were all very nervous but confident that things could move forward.

Then, one early morning not long after they got back together, Nicole texted me and asked if we could talk, about.......Danielle and my relationship with her.

It was the best thing that she could have done. We spoke openly and honestly about how she felt about it all and how intimidated that relationship had made her feel. She felt like an intruder in our home. She was hurt and confused and rightfully so.

That was unacceptable.

I make it a point in my life to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome in my home and with our family. I had failed so miserably and didn't know how to make it right.

It was after that that our relationship was unhindered, close and where it belonged.

I would like to think that Nicole loves me as much as I love her. I couldn't be happier with how things turned out for all involved.

Their wedding is two months away and I am so happy, excited and confident that this is how it should be.

Shayne and Nicole are good for each other. They bring out the best in each other.

So, who is this young woman who is going to marry my son? She is a loyal, loving and caring young lady who says it like it is. She loves her family and her friends and excepts people to take responsibility for their actions.

She is softening in her approach to life, slightly; and is learning how to slow down and appreciate things and not stress quite so much.

This child gets upset when I do my son's laundry or make his lunch, but understands how I am with my family and she now excepts my quirks and idiosyncrasies. She loves me for me as I love her for her.

I look forward to my chats with her over a glass of wine, or two, how she confides in me about her feelings, fears and hopes; how she trust me. And how I trust her.


Nicole is my daughter and that is how it should be.

This woman is going to marry my son. I hold my children very close to my heart and I am confident that she will love and protect him as he will her. Mama's happy.


I have lived my life believing that things happen for a reason and I still believe that still today.

Nicole is where she belongs, with Shayne and with our family.